some guy asked me out today. I said OK.

I do not want to be in a relationship, he is thirty and wants committment. I know this because of a little spy work done by my co-worker Kate.

I have a feeling there is no soul mate for me. I do not think I'm supposed to be married. I don't think theres anyone out there that is not going to drive me nuts. I need freedom, breathing room, independence, time alone.

I feel like I'm fire, and I'll burn everyone I touch. I am really hurting someone right now, really bad, and I feel like such shit. He is such a good boy, he deserves a good girl. That girl is not me. I cannot give him what he deserves. I am so greedy.

I don't want to see the same boy everyday, all up in my space.

Sleeping together is nice. I don't mean doing the nasty, I mean sleeping. Having someone hold you close, but only while sleeping.

oh my my what to do. Donnie is the guy who asked me out and I will see him tomorrow. I don't know what to say to him. I haven't decided if he's cocky yet but I'd take cockiness over immaturity probably.

I like the chase and I like being chased but after that I get bored. I need energy and newness every day or else I'll get bored. I need someone who can actually understand me and I am so immature.

soooo immmmaturrree.

I really miss Josh today. I drove by his house yesterday and he doesn't live there anymore. I don't know where he's at or what he's doing or if he's in jail.

I cannot settle down.

But I'm only 22.

I missed sex and the city last night damnit. It's on tv, reruns, I didn't see it when it was on fresh.

I just want to hang out with my friends and drive in fast cars and do drugs and have great conversations. damnit.

I am doing this all to myself so I guess its what I want. I don't know what I want. Why do you listen to yourself?! Don't do it anymore! You should do the exact opposite of what you tell yourself! Plans are made to be broken!@ come and get me, we'll have fun!

"You are a lady and a scholar and I will remember your kindness and sincerity until the day that I die"