Theres this boy that i work with...i will call him R, and he's around 17 or eighteen years old. I think he's a senior in HS. Well, the thing is, i want to take advantage of him. I want to throw him down on the prep table and take full advantage of him. I cant help but flirt with him, the flirting just happens without asking my permission first. I blush constantly when i'm around him, probably because i always smile at him and he always smiles at me.

I want to be the older woman. I want to be the experienced one, teaching the boy the facts of life. It sounds very exciting. We are at least five years apart, josh and i were ten years apart. When josh was 18 years old I was 8. haha.

will i pursue this boy. I do not know yet. what in the fuck am i doing. he's tall, with dark hair and beautiful sideburns. god, why does he have to have sideburns, they are so sexy.

I know it sounds bad but all i want from him is sex, i wonder if he even knows what to do. i wonder if he's still a virgin. That would be even better i think. mmm..i'm getting myself all hot and bothered. i hate this rebound shit, i hate it.

josh wants me with him but i cannot do it. i just cant even though thats all i want to do. he will never settle down, never, and i dont even want him to. He's got pure electricity running through his veins and he will till the day that he dies. i do not ever want to settle down either. i dont want to be constrained by anyone or anything. I just want to do whatever i want, whenever i want to do it.

its better this way, i'm glad this is the way it ended. we had some crazy fucking times, times full of drugs and alcohol and adrenaline and craziness and pure energy. but how can you top absolute fucking crazniness. you cant.

This is a picture of a boy named clint. he's a helacious skater, i met him at the skatepark. well, actually its a picture of his battle scar, and its pretty badass.

he got back on his board that day, too. probably ripped a couple stitches out, but you know how boys are.