I smoke in the bathroom alot, and I create things on the dining room table a lot, so the lighter situation works out really well for me because no one even steals them.

Those matches that claim to "light on any surface!" really bug me because frankly my dear, that is incorrect.

That is called false advertising.

Do you ever wonder to youself "I wonder if those cigarette companies are just evil politicians and/or part of the government on a mission to help out darwin on the idea of natural selection and/or population control?"

Or maybe everyone knows that but me, and in that case, Hey! the flashlight just kicked on.

I'm willing to die, just for my country.