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im really very sad right now-i wish everything was just better, right now-i wish i was in school right now, i wish it wasnt the summer-i wish i had something to occupy my brain so that i would stop thinking these endless empty thoughts. i hate my life, i hate this house, i hate this town, i hate everyone i know, i hate i hate i hate i hate. i hate this brown carpet i hate these wood paneled walls i hate the fact that i have to get up early but im not even tired so i dont want to go to sleep. i hate the fact that my cigarettes are in the other room. i hate my shirt. i hate my toenails i hate this cluttered desk. i hate having no sympathy for anyone. i hate knowing that my dog just practically chewed through the extension cord hooking up my computer. i hate the fact that if i would have been paying attention to him, i would of been able to stop him before the plastic coating was pierced. i hate my music, all of it. i hate feeling isolated, i hate feeling alone. i hate not having a girl-friend i can call up and talk to and tell her that im sad and i hate everything. i hate the marine corps, i hate credit cards, i hate the IRS, i hate the bank. i hate money. i hate the fact that my stepdad cant find a job. i hate the fact that my stepdad has a masters degree and he cant find a job. i hate diaryland, i hate pills, i hate attempted suicide, i hate remorse, i hate not believing in heaven, i hate waking up, i wish i could sleep for the rest of my time. i hate snobby cowboys. i hate the game and i hate the player. i hate clothes but i love shoes. i hate how every time the air kicks on the lights flicker. i hate my neighbor robin. i hate the big dead tree in my back yard. i hate this place, right now, right here, im sick of it all.
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lucky
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